Unfortunately, I will not be at Bioshares in New Zealand this weekend to present these well-deserved awards on behalf of the dedicated readers of The Long Tail. However, I have ordered a crate of North Korean Kumdang-2 as the prize for these awards and as soon as it clears AQIS, I will be sure and distribute it to the deserving winners.
There are 5 awards in this inaugural recognition of ASX-listed biopharma excellence. They are as follows:
This award is for the company that did the most spectacular job of manipulating its share price, and still manage to not get burnt by ASIC. It is for the company that shows the greatest dedication to pumping and dumping stock, outrageous press releases and excellently timed share purchase plan announcements. The award goes to Prima Biomed (ASX : PRR). I thought Prima was an especially deserving winner as it is the only company I have ever seen that was awarded with a 300% stock rally for announcing the final results of a program it had already killed. Remarkable effort, Marc Voigt and the team…
The Mickey Mouse Award
This award goes to to the company that managed to kill the most rodents in the name of creating exciting press releases to demanding shareholders. An important criteria of this award is that none of the science that came out of those little lives lost should have any peer-review scientific credibility whatsoever. That award, without hesitation or competition, goes to Novogen (ASX : NRT). A big congratulations to Graham Kelly and the team.
The Smoke and Mirrors Award
This award is generously given to the company that managed to create enough new business units, enough new directions, and get shareholders excited about completely irrelevant new projects, that it didn’t actually have to delivery anything of commercial value whatsoever. Although Novogen is a close contender for the award this year, it was really hard to beat the masterful redirections of Geoff Cumming and the team at Anteo Diagnostics (ASX : ADO). However, there will be no allocation of Kumdang-2 for GC, because he is already overpaid and he can import his own North Korean drugs himself.
The Vanquish Award
I first fell in love with the Aston Martin in Bond films. Even the 70s vintage DBS managed to make Roger Moore look like a stud. When I was thinking about the title of this award, I wanted to recognise the most astonishing acts of publicity that had literally no value or meaning whatsoever. With so many strong contenders, like PharmAust, Regeneus, Suda, Cynata and even Benitec’s little RA Capital clarification, it was difficult to choose. Strangely, for some reason, an Aston Martin Vanquish with some guy named Roger (or was it Rogers?) draped over the hood, popped into my head every time I thought about it. Bizarre really. However after much navel gazing, I came to the conclusion that there was a clear winner – congratulations to Roger Aston and the team at PharmAust (ASX : PAA) for the thrilling and inspiring dog-by-dog coverage of the PPL-1 studies. Brilliant stuff!
The HotCrapper Award
This award is for the company from whom I received the greatest amount of abuse by rabid punters on trading platforms for my posts. I try to keep rough track of the number of times I get called a wanker, a ‘down-ramper’ (which could just about be Cockney rhyming slang for ‘wanker’ anyhow) or a dickhead. For most of the companies I have commented on, it’s only mid-double digits. This year, there were two standouts – Anteo Diagnostics (ASX : ADO) and Neuren Pharmaceuticals (ASX : NEU). Since ADO already got an award, this one goes to Neuren, for the most venomous, aggressive and unpleasant shareholders.